An illusive narrative
In my work I often come across women being lost in the following illusive narrative - somewhere along the lines “I want a child. All i have to do is to conceive, go through pregnancy and give birth. That’s it. It became a sort of a mantra, a prayer, a spell almost that some women keep repeating to themselves hoping to get “the desired item” - a child. Disturbing almost isn’t it? Among all, the main thread here is that this narrative is not about motherhood at all. Conceiving, going through pregnancy and giving birth is just the beginning. Before the beginning. Its the pre-play. The pre-state.
Yet so many of us don’t want to look any further. It’s unclear, unknow. Its scary. And this is not the state from which we give life and give love.
Motherhood is for good, it’s forever.
Motherhood is your transformed life. Magically transformed. From maiden to mother. There is no reverse spell*. Its a very special journey without the return ticket home. Journey towards new you, important you, important to Life, journey towards Life itself. When Life is of importance to you so you are of importance to Life. If you love Life, if you are in full contact with it, then Life gives you the honours, gifts you a miracle- you are given the chance to create a new life. With all the force of this action included*. However, the real force is always scary. Gift a life is always scary. Because together with life we are gifting death also.
Every woman experiences both feelings towards her child: love and guilt. Guilt is for giving her child a ticket to life that is going to be inevitably challenging and hard. Every mother knows, consciously or unconsciously. Every mother knows her child will go through disease, betrayal, wars, cataclysms, fear and horror.
A mother is bringing a child into the world where there is violence, killings and hazards. A mother knows it all and gives birth anyways. Out of Love. Cause in the true act of motherhood there is clearly more love. More than guilt. That is the beauty. May it stay this way.
